A Non-Book Interlude

I've been neglecting this for a few weeks, partly because the next book on the list took me a while to read; partly because shortly after I finished reading it I went on vacation with my family.

Family vacations are always a learning experience for me. You'd think after all this time, I'd know these people pretty well, and I do, but there are usually a few surprises nonetheless. This time we set our sights especially high, particularly considering the state of the world, and went to Disney World. I've been to Disneyland several times before, including twice as an adult, one of which was also a family vacation. But none of us had ever been to Disney World before and so my sister The Planner (the other one that I don't live with, mother to five of my seven niblings) organized it all.

First of all, it is SO MUCH BIGGER than Disneyland, with twice as many parks. Epcot alone occupies THREE TIMES more space than Disneyland does; a person gets exhausted just looking at it. Secondly, they're spaced far enough apart that you have to drive to them separately, so park-hopping isn't really a thing. We opted to spend a day in each, in this order:

• Hollywood Studios: The closest equivalent to California Adventure, this is basically the home of the Star Wars part, Galaxy's Edge, as well as the Tower of Terror and a few other things. The most popular ride right now is Rise of the Resistance, which I enjoyed. The only other ride I went on was a Mickey and Minnie train thing, which was fun. And I watched a Muppet movie; I like Muppets. We also had lunch at a 50s diner that we really liked.

• Animal Kingdom: The best part of this was the safari, which was really amazing, even for someone like me who is largely indifferent to animals. There's a whole area devoted to Avatar, about which I cared not at all, but it was neat-looking. (Expedition Everest I took one look at and said NOPE.) Lunch was at a place I can't remember the name of, where I had ahi and demonstrated my chopstick skills to my father, and dinner was at Sanaa, an Indian/African fusion place which was my favorite of the whole trip. Seriously, if you go down there, you must try it; the food was incredible.

• Magic Kingdom: Basically Disneyland with some differences; for one, there's a lake in front of it that you have to cross by either ferry or monorail, which is kind of nifty and helps with the magic. It felt the most familiar to me, and both Peter Pan's Flight and the Haunted Mansion are better than Disneyland. Sadly, the train was closed, which is one of my favorite things in Disneyland (not least because it cuts down on the walking.) Lunch was at an Italian place that was aggressively fine.

• Epcot: I struggle with describing Epcot, because I didn't understand it at all before I went (and still kind of don't.) Plus my experience there was less than optimal, for the following reasons: one, it was REALLY warm, like 85 degrees; two, it's Florida so it was also like 80% humidity and the one thing I handle less well than heat is humidity; three, I was feeling kind of blech when I started the day, and it did not get better (more on that in a minute); four, as mentioned earlier, it's HUGE and I just couldn't cope with all the walking. So I wandered very slowly around the World Showcase, trying various foods (all of which were both delicious and initially blamed by me for what happened later). I met up with my parents, who were wandering in the opposite direction, at the America pavilion, and saw a presentation on American history, narrated by Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain, which was both surprisingly stirring and deeply surreal. I sat on a lot of benches. I watched a lot of people drinking everywhere (seriously, it seemed like every single human who was not actively a child had some form of alcohol in a cup.) I eventually made it through Canada and slowly back to the entrance, where I gradually realized that the things I was feeling were not the episodes of something in the neighborhood of my gallbladder that I have been experiencing somewhat regularly for a while and which are usually subdued by painkillers, but in fact my digestive system in open revolt. 

Here I will just say this: I can probably count the number of times I have thrown up in my life on both hands. I hate doing it and will avoid it at almost any cost. And avoiding it this time was a LOT of work, because my stomach was bouncing like a kid on a trampoline; there was a lot of very careful breathing involved.

We also went to Universal; the Harry Potter part was great and I got to ride the Hogwarts Express, so I was happy about that (turns out that in addition to being a huge Harry Potter nerd, I also love trains. Who knew?) and I also saw a stunt show that I loved, but Universal remains massively underwhelming for me. (Cowfish was good though.)

Anyway, I thought the stomach thing might be food poisoning, but several other members of my family also developed similar issues, so it was probably some kind of virus, and most of us wrapped up the vacation a little early. I would still call it a success, because:

• My father, world's biggest space geek, got to visit Cape Canaveral and see Atlantis;
• My mother got to hear my youngest nephew say Grandma (he's said Papa for a while but refused to say Grandma because my family is an obstinate bunch and we don't do things until we are darn good and ready);
• We all got to see my niece who lives in Portland and celebrate her birthday;
• We experienced Disney World and spent some good time together.

Me, I prefer Disneyland overall; it's closer, it's more compact and it's just less work all around. Disney World seemed to me like the theme park equivalent of making "The Hobbit" into three movies: too much space and not enough interesting stuff. I also don't really care for rides much and theme parks are not my vacation of choice (anything that requires that much walking is, in my book, more work than relaxation). But I am grateful for the experience anyway, because I learned a lot and ate some good food and had a pleasant time. And really, what more can you ask from a vacation?

Book #80: "Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself"

 

Having really enjoyed his last book, I was looking forward to this one, which I assumed picked up where the previous one left off. I was particularly hoping there would be some anecdotes about The West Wing. 

So in that respect, the book disappointed, because it's not so much a second volume of his autobiography as it is a collection of speeches he's given (graduations, funerals, etc.) and his thoughts thereon. Because I am a storyteller myself, I found it somewhat less engaging to read. But I am also a thinker and even a philosopher at times, in my way, and ultimately it was more thought-provoking than the stories were.

Alan Alda and I do not agree about everything; like a lot of people, he appears to believe science and religion are incompatible, and regards religious people as blind followers of a path that leads nowhere (though it's not stated overtly, the implication is there.) I believe that religion gives us answers science hasn't found yet, and as what we know about our universes grows and changes, principles that seemed to be diametrically opposed foes end up as different methods of expressing the same idea. But his theories are deeply pondered and thoughtfully expressed, and I respect the work even if I don't always care for the product.

As in the previous book, his words are a joy; my favorite phrase was this: "being passionate doesn't make you right." In a book filled with intriguing concepts, that's the one I'll take with me.

Author: Alan Alda

Potentially objectionable content: Less than the previous book (probably because most of these words were spoken at ceremonial occasions in public forums)

Book #79: "Never Have Your Dog Stuffed and Other Things I've Learned"

 

Growing up in the 80s and 90s, I was of course familiar with M*A*S*H; my parents certainly watched it and I'm sure I have seen quite a few episodes, though I was a very small child when it stopped airing. (I thought I remembered watching the finale; turns out I was way too young for that and my memories are all of reruns. That surprised me and I had to check a couple of times to make sure I wasn't crazy.) I don't remember a lot of specifics; mostly character names and a couple of bits (Frank and Margaret's affair; Klinger's penchant for dressing up as a woman in hopes of getting discharged, etc.) but it has seeped into my consciousness nonetheless, and I became a fan of Alan Alda's sort of accidentally, the way I sometimes do. (I'm sure I'll talk about that in depth at some point.)

Watching (and then becoming mildly obsessed with) The West Wing not long after it went off the air some 30 years later meant I was able to become a fan of his on purpose, but I didn't know much more about him or his body of work (the only other things I can recall seeing offhand are The Aviator, in which he weirded me out, and The Blacklist, in which I wanted to slap him.) As I read the first few chapters and noted his references to the events of his childhood, I guessed that he was about the same age as my maternal grandparents; turns out he was born the year between them and got married about a month before they did, so there was satisfaction in being right. But more than that, I was absorbed by his stories, his candor and his writing. I had to slog through the previous two books and was relieved when I finally finished them; this one I was a little sad to put down.

Author: Alan Alda

Potentially objectionable content: Some language (though it's used pretty sparingly); like the autobiography of Julie Andrews, there are "thematic elements".

Book #78: "Louisa May Alcott: A Personal Biography"

 

This is the third and last Louisa May Alcott biography I own (see the others here and here) and it was also the hardest to write about. It's riddled with errors both factual (e.g. Elizabeth Alcott is referred to at one point as the youngest sister, though like her fictional counterpart she was actually the third of four) and technical (commas occasionally roam away from where they belong and make a home for themselves wherever they land.) 

But irritating as they are, the errors pale in comparison to the author's refusal to focus on her purported subject. Instead, a varied cast of historical figures (Thoreau, Emerson, Walt Whitman, Henry James, Dorothea Dix, John Brown; the list goes on) as well as Alcott's sisters, mother and friends all march onstage to support the real star of the show: Bronson Alcott, whom the author clearly loathes, nevertheless basks in the limelight while poor Louisa is relegated to the wings. And while he was interesting enough in his own right, and books could be and have been written about him and his relationship with his famous daughter, she deserves top billing in a book with her name on the cover.

The focus on Bronson and his theories is particularly odd in a narrative that also spends significant time on the issue of women's rights, both now and in 19th-century New England. What little space Louisa is alloted in the book repeatedly mentions her support of what we'd refer to today as a feminist agenda, though this seems entirely based on her desire to support her family and her choosing not to get married (indeed, it may have been practical and not philosophical concerns that kept her single.)

So to sum up: my primary objection to this book is that, with a subtitle of "A Personal Biography", it is abundantly clear that the only person whose thoughts, ideals and feelings matter to the author is herself.

Author: Susan Cheever

Potentially objectionable content: the author's constant speculation on most characters' sexual orientation

Book #77: "Watership Down"

 

Well. This was a SLOG for me; I'm just gonna come right out with that.

My first time being aware of this book was while reading "Wait Til Helen Comes" as a kid (don't worry; it's coming later. See what I did there? Even if I didn't already own it, I'd have to get it so I could make that joke.)

ANYWAY, at one point the main character, Molly, is reading "Watership Down." Since Molly is I think twelve, I assumed this would be more of a children's book, and it's very much not; it's 475 pages long, and it's...just not very interesting. (It has FOOTNOTES, for crying out loud.) I almost aborted this one as well, since ain't nobody got time for boring books about rabbits, but it's something of a classic and I just this second realized I didn't want to be a literary sissy compared to a fictional twelve-year-old. So...I clearly have some stuff to figure out, but at least I can blame it on Mary Downing Hahn. (Other things too; wait til I get to the Hs. HA. Did it again.)

Author: Richard Adams

Potentially objectionable content: Interestingly, all the references to more adult stuff are made innocuous by being expressed in Lapine, Adams' rabbit language. But it's quite violent in places and those passages are in fairly descriptive English, so animal lovers should probably steer clear. It's also very much a book of its time (1972) so there are characters who speak in dialects that are maybe not explicitly racist (though mostly by virtue of being animals rather than people) but are pretty easy to identify nonetheless.

P.S. If you think I'm joking about either the violence or the not-for-kids bits, take a look at this, from the 1978 movie:

 

DEMON RABBIT NIGHTMARES. Spare yourself.

Book aborted: Part the Second

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (colloquially "LDS" or "Mormon") definitely isn't as hard here as it once was. I've never really been persecuted for what I believe; never been jailed; never been tarred and feathered; never been driven from my home by an angry mob. The worst I have ever endured for the sake of my religion is some snide comments and some ignorant questions. To be clear: I never mind questions if they come from a place of genuinely wanting to know the answer, but I have better things to do with my time than to satisfy idle curiosity or correct ridiculous rumors.

I do find, however, that I occasionally run across references in pop culture that are...less than flattering, let's say. I mean, I get that people do and say dumb things, and I also know it's not the worst thing to have a reference at all, even an unflattering one. Someone might see it and have a real interest and want to know more, and I'm in favor of that.

But when a character in a book points out that she's a vegetarian, and the immediate response is to ask if she's "one of the Latter Day Saints lot...with the funny underwear", and then the response to THAT is to reassure that she's not a cult member...look, it's not so much that offhand idiocy is offensive, or that I am personally bothered by it (though it is and I am.) In this instance, it's that it's so LAZY. First of all, vegetarianism is nowhere in our doctrine, so why would someone, even someone who doesn't know much about it at all, make that logistical leap? Had it been the character turning down alcohol, that would have made a lot more sense. 

That aside: funny underwear and being in a cult? That's the best the author can do? In all the "weird" things about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (and there are some, at least from an outside perspective), she couldn't find a better target? It's in the same vein as stupid criminals for me: if you've decided that path is worth your while, make an effort, at least! Don't be BAD at it, because then what have you gained?

Nothing, is the answer to that, even though Alice Adams got whatever percentage of the price I paid for this book (although it can't be much, since I bought it from the bargain section). There's a decent chance she would have lost my attention anyway; 25 pages of surprisingly large print in, I wasn't invested in either the characters or the story. (I can only assume the font size was chosen to stretch the lackluster prose to a publishable length.) But by shoehorning in a ludicrously cheap shot to satisfy whatever petty antipathy she cherishes, she shifted me from neutral/bored to active dislike.

Title: Invincible Summer

Potentially objectionable content: See above. Plus language and sexual references 

Book #76: "Fifty-Nine in '84"

Modern technology is kind of amazing. A few years ago, I was getting ready for work one Friday morning, which happened to be a payday. With one hand I was blow-drying my hair, while with the other I was paying bills. I can browse the internet, send emails, play games, and even write out my thoughts on books from this small device that was originally intended to make calls. Remarkable.

The subject of today's book (another library-sale acquisition, I think) played baseball in a time where the first telephones were a novelty, and would no doubt have been in awe of this sorcery. Indeed, as he pitched his way to 59 wins without the benefit of medical help for his sore arm, rest for his beleaguered body or even a glove for his left hand, he might well have believed my ability to compose an essay without even getting out of bed the ultimate in laziness. 

Impressive as this feat was, the telling of it drags, with details unnecessary to the narrative and continual deviations to tell the backstory of minor characters I frankly didn't care about. But it's nonetheless fascinating to see how the game has evolved over time, and to learn about a record that is unlikely, in today's iteration, to ever be broken. 

Author: Edward Achorn

Potentially objectionable content: Not that I noticed; there are some references to various unsavory habits and language, but they are couched, as befits the era, in euphemisms.