Sunday, July 20, 2014

Book #25: "Home"

This is Julie Andrews' autobiography-at least up until the early sixties-the book ends right before her two most famous film roles: Mary Poppins and Maria Von Trapp. Still, there's plenty of fascinating material here, and anyone with even a casual interest in either film or theater should definitely read it.

Fun fact: during the section on the Broadway production of Camelot, Julie Andrews mentions the lovely voice of her co-star, Richard Burton, and having the movie in my head, I was thinking of Richard Harris, who was...not a great singer. So I was confused. Okay, not as fun as I initially thought.

Author: Julie Andrews

Potentially objectionable content: Some language and what I believe the MPAA would refer to as "thematic elements"

Book #24: "The Book of Mormon Sleuth: The Forgotten Treasure"

Man, this family just can not catch a break! Every vacation they go on gets spoiled some sort of crisis, usually personified by Dr. Anthony (and seriously, enough of that guy already.) For some reason I don't own the third book in the series, but I doubt it's really worth reading.

Author: C.B. Andersen

Potentially objectionable content: I honestly don't know-I can barely remember the book

Book #23: "The Book of Mormon Sleuth: The Lost Tribe"

First of all, I've just now realized that the title of this series (intended to indicate, as Brandon says in the first book, that the Book of Mormon contains the answer to every question) really only applies to the first book. It's entirely possible the author never intended to write any others and thus got stuck with a series title that didn't really make sense.

Secondly, the series switches perspectives every other volume between Brandon and Jeff, which is disconcerting at the beginning of this story, since it takes a couple of pages to realize who is narrating.

Thirdly, it's a fine book with an interesting enough premise. Not as good as the first one though.

Author: C.B. Andersen

Potentially objectionable content: Somewhat tense moments and a few ritual animal sacrifices (yes, really)

Sunday, July 6, 2014

I'm Going to Disneyland!

Well, actually I already went. I'm currently consigned to the modern version of Dante's first circle of hell: hanging out in the airport. (Considering I'm in Las Vegas, it could probably qualify as either four or eight also. Your call.)

Anyway, I have a couple of titles to write up, and I'll be getting to those shortly. But this was my first trip to Disneyland in almost twenty years, and as such I thought you might be interested in the various things I learned.

1) There are bubbles EVERYWHERE. The first time you see them, you are taken by surprise. The next time, you figure out that about 1 in 10 people has purchased a bubble gun. The time after that, you re-evaluate your assessment to one in five. Then you just start seeing them all over the place, with no apparent source, and you decide it is just part of the magic of Disneyland.

2) Speaking of which: no matter what channel you've been watching when you turn the TV off, it's on the Disney channel when you turn it on again.

3) You can get married at Disneyland. Probably expensive. But true.

4) You can also bring in your own food and drink. They do check your bags at the gate, but not for consumables. I was surprised by that.

5) The Jungle Cruise is exactly no fun. Or at least, the amount of fun derived from it divided by the amount of time waiting in line equals such a small number it might as well be zero.

6) I truly hate roller coasters.

7) Oh my gosh, the humidity. I'm from a desert, okay? Can't handle it.

8) Which means that you end up completely gross by the end of the day. Let comfort and temperature be your clothing guides-just shove style right out the window.

9) Wear ALL the sunscreen. Especially if, like me, you inherited the sensitive alabaster skin of your redheaded maternal grandmother. Carry it with you. Apply often.

10) Buy a couple of magazines if, like me, you are incapable of taking a bath without reading material. (I brought my Nook with me, but I decided not to use that in the bath.) And you will want a nice soak in the bath, because...

11) So. Much. WALKING. And also a lot of standing, which for me was worse than the walking. Get really good shoes.

12) Waiting in line is the worst. Get fast passes every time you can. They are the bomb. Yes, even the bomb diggity.

13) About 95% of the people you meet are completely delightful. So, so nice. The lady at the rental car place, most of the hotel staff, all the Disneyland cast members, almost everybody we stood next to or rode the train with.

14) The other 5% are deplorable human beings. They know who they are.

15) If you are a fireworks person (or even, like me, you're not), you must see them the way they are meant to be seen: at Disneyland. Seriously. They're amazing.

Overall, it was a fantastic, wonderful, magical trip. If you haven't been recently (or ever): go. Go now. It's totally worth it.